What's Stopping You? by Robert Kelsey - Summary

The following is a summary and review of the book What's Stopping You?  by Robert Kelsey.

Is Fear Holding You Back?

Do you ever feel like you're not reaching your full potential, despite being intelligent and capable? Are you sabotaging your own success due to a hidden fear of failure? Robert Kelsey's What's Stopping You?: Why Smart People Don't Always Reach Their Potential and How You Can tackles this very problem. This popular self-help book delves into the psychology of fear of failure and offers practical strategies to overcome it. Save time and gain actionable insights by reading this summary!

Table of Contents

• About the Author
• Who Should Read This Book?
• Key Insights and Themes
• Detailed Summary
• Review
• Actionable Takeaways
• FAQs
• Conclusion

About the Author

Robert Kelsey is a businessman and author who writes from personal experience. As a self-confessed "recovering High-FF" (High Fear of Failure), Kelsey combines thorough research with his own experiences to provide an insightful and relatable guide. His ability to blend personal anecdotes with psychological concepts makes him a credible and engaging voice in the self-help genre.

Who Should Read This Book?

What's Stopping You? is a must-read for:

• Professionals feeling stuck: If you're constantly avoiding challenges or procrastinating due to fear, this book can help you identify the root cause and develop coping mechanisms.
• Entrepreneurs struggling with self-doubt: Starting a business is daunting, and fear can be paralysing. Kelsey offers strategies to manage terror and build a sustainable business.
• High-achievers with low self-esteem: Many successful individuals secretly doubt their abilities. This book helps deconstruct those negative self-beliefs and recognise your accomplishments.
• Anyone seeking personal growth: Whether you're facing career challenges or personal insecurities, What's Stopping You? provides a framework for understanding your fears and charting a more fulfilling path.

Key Insights and Themes

Here are some key takeaways from What's Stopping You?:

• Fear of failure (High-FF) is a common condition that can lead to avoidance behaviours and self-sabotage.
• Understanding your motivations (High-AM vs. High-FF) is crucial for setting appropriate goals.
• Goal setting should be principles-centred, focusing on your values rather than societal expectations.
• Action requires a plan, it also requires strategy and tactics to achieve objectives.
• Self-awareness and emotional management are vital for overcoming limiting beliefs.
• Helping others can be a powerful tool for personal recovery and sustainable success.

Detailed Summary

The book is divided into five parts, each addressing a key aspect of overcoming fear of failure:

Part One: What is Stopping You?

This section explores the nature of fear and its impact on our lives. Kelsey introduces the concept of "High-FFs" – individuals with a high fear of failure who are often driven by avoidance. He discusses how emotions can impair mental capacity and lead to self-sabotaging behaviours. He emphasises that a fear of failure can have a negative effect on goal orientation.

Part Two: Goals

Kelsey stresses the importance of proactivity and setting the right goals. He advocates for visualisation techniques but warns against unrealistic fantasies. Instead, he promotes the "Character Ethic," focusing on aligning goals with personal values and principles. Creating a personal constitution and defining your core values are key steps in this process. Stephen Covey is presented as the high priest of appropriate goal setting.

Part Three: Execution

This part focuses on strategy and tactics for achieving goals. Kelsey emphasises the need for a clear strategy to bridge the gap between goals and action. He introduces tools like SWOT analysis (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) to assess your current situation and develop effective tactics. The book also highlights the importance of managing your time and prioritising tasks.

Part Four: People

This section deals with self-esteem, relationships, and leadership. Kelsey explores the distorting mirror of low self-esteem and provides strategies for deconstructing negative self-beliefs. He offers advice on dealing with difficult bosses, networking effectively, and becoming a valuable employee. The importance of empathy and emotional intelligence in leadership roles is also highlighted.

• Three types of bad boss
• How to progress as an employee
• Generating rapport

Part Five: Me Inc.

Here, Kelsey explores alternative paths for High-FFs, including entrepreneurship, freelancing, and partnerships. He challenges the myth of the fearless entrepreneur and emphasizes the importance of managing risk and building sustainable businesses. He highlights the benefits and pitfalls of partnerships and offers advice for creating successful collaborations.

Conclusion

The conclusion urges readers to quit obsessing, embrace self-criticism, and choose to serve others. Kelsey encourages readers to find their unique gift and use it to empower others, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and sustainable recovery from fear of failure.

Seven Steps to Navigating Fear of Failure

Kelsey provides a practical framework for overcoming fear of failure:

1. Discover Your True Values: Establish your core principles to guide your decisions and actions.
2. Visualize Your Goals: Create a detailed picture of your ideal future to provide direction and motivation.
3. Develop the Milestones: Break down your long-term goals into smaller, achievable steps.
4. Establish a Strategy and Some Tactics: Create a plan to bridge the gap between your goals and your actions.
5. Execute Efficiently: Optimise your workspace and time management to maximise productivity.
6. Deal with People: Develop strong interpersonal skills to build supportive relationships.
7. Find Your Unique Gift: Identify your strengths and use them to contribute to the lives of others.

Review

What's Stopping You? is a readable and insightful book that offers practical advice for overcoming fear of failure. Kelsey's personal anecdotes and relatable writing style make the book engaging and accessible. However, some readers may find the self-help jargon and exercises a bit cliché.

Strengths:

• Relatable and engaging writing style.
• Combines personal experience with psychological research.
• Offers practical strategies and actionable takeaways.

Weaknesses:

• Some self-help jargon and exercises may feel repetitive.
• The focus on individual achievement may not resonate with everyone.

Actionable Takeaways

Here's how to apply these lessons in real life:

• Start a diary: Use it to record your moods, goals, and results. This is your way to map out your progress.
• Create Your Constitution: List your core values and principles to guide your goal-setting.
• Visualise your goals: Regularly imagine your ideal future to stay motivated.
• Undertake a SWOT analysis: Identify your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats to develop a strategic plan.
• Prioritise tasks: Use Covey's four activity boxes to focus on what's truly important.
• Find your unique gift: Identify your strengths and use them to help others.

FAQs

• What is "What's Stopping You?" about? "What's Stopping You?" is a self-help book that explores the psychology of fear of failure and offers practical strategies to overcome it. It is a manual for understanding what is standing in the way of goal achievement.
• Is "What's Stopping You?" worth reading? Yes, if you struggle with self-doubt, procrastination, or fear of failure. The book provides valuable insights and actionable steps to unlock your potential and chart a more fulfilling path.

Conclusion

What's Stopping You? offers a compassionate and practical guide for anyone seeking to overcome fear of failure and achieve their goals. By understanding your motivations, aligning your goals with your values, and developing effective strategies, you can break free from limiting beliefs and unlock your full potential. Take action today and start charting your path to a more fulfilling future!

What's Stopping You?

by Robert Kelsey

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